Survival Tip # 1 :
When someone approaches you with blood smeared all over their face and pieces of shredded flesh dangling from their body save your self the time and DON'T run up to them in a panic going " OH MY GAWD!!! ARE YOU OKAY!? " It's pretty obvious they're not gonna respond with an " Oh, I'm just peachy! Thanks! How are you??"
-THEY - ARE- NOT - OKAY-
Survival Tip # 2
COMMON SENSE PEOPLE - avoid dark places! If you must go in the dark TAKE A LIGHT AND A GUN . No gun? Take an x-bf /gf - someone you're willing to loose. Don't have one of those? Look up a hooker's number in the phone book. If your phone's disconnected just take your boss. Unemployed? Ha- what a loser, it's obvious you're gonna die. Why the hell are you wasting the time to read this?
Survival Tip # 3
NO , It's not a good idea to Split up. Get a brain , you twit.
Survival Tip # 4
If you've been bit by a vampire or a zombie, don't waist time with a first aid kit or looking for the vaccine. Your already screwed. And don't call 9-1-1 , chances are if any one there's still alive they wont answer the phone - or the paramedics will probably put the bullet in your head for you.
Survival Tip # 5
When you hear something strange out in the woods at night, use your brain. Don't go out there screaming " HELLO!? HELLO!? " That's like running out and yelling " HEY! I'M OVER HERE! COME KILL ME! "
Survival Tip # 6
In a group of people always draw straws to see who walks around the dark corner first. And if your straw's the shortest, shove someone else around that corner.
Survival Tip # 7
A CIGARETTE IS NOT GOING TO SAVE YOU - GOT THAT? - IS NOT!
Survival Tip # 8
REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE : Do onto others as they do unto you. They cut off your leg with a meat clever, you smash their arm with a metal pole, steal their meat clever and slit their throat. Karma's a bitch.
Survival Tip # 9
JUST SKIP THE FUCKING SEX SCENE! You know you make a lot of noise that draws attention to yourself - DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED?
Survival tip # 10
"OH GOD! IT'S FINALLY OVER! AND I'M NOT DEAD!! " - save that line. There's gonna be a sequel. And you'll probably die.
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If I go crazy then will you still call me
~Dagger-Calica and ~ebony-tae are my websisters. It won't kill you to view them, but if you don't then I might.
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Stock account: [link]
Model Mayhem: [link]
That's the best! I always think "Shut UP!" When people do that. Movies.
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fear the evil smile!! ^__________^
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-- I hold my breath as this life starts to take it's toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds--
~* The Only Thing Domestic About Me Is I Know How To Roll Over And I Like To Be Pet Alot ~*~*
COME SEE ME NAKED!!! [link]
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I am not making fun of you personally, I am heaping scorn on an inexcusably silly idea - a practice I shall always follow.
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"My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved package, but rather I will skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming...
WOW...What a Ride!"
check out my gallery - mother goose
it's basically the same - but for nursery rhymes
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Just remember:: there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way.
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